Your bro and sis have grown a lot, buddy. Took them for a walk and played hockey with them. I think your bro has grown a bit attached to me. hahaha...it was like that when we first met, eh? as soon as I picked him up and threw him around, he liked me. Your sister's growing to be a responsible woman, eh? They miss you. How it would have been so great for you to be with them. Kiwi was with us as well. Kinda felt like a little family. I guess that's what we've always been. Brothers in Christ have to look out for each other, relatives included. I'll do what I can to watch out for them.

Wish you were still here...the house really isn't the same without you...

*****

So for Christmas, I got something special from my grandparents. I got a pair of chopsticks. Yes, a pair of chopsticks. But they aren't just any chopsticks, they are chopsticks that aren't in production anymore...(I wonder if saying why they aren't in production might get me in trouble). But somehow, a simple pair of chopsticks means a lot to me. In a sense, it represents my heritage (being Chinese), and its something that my grandparents actually put thought into getting for me. I never got a lot of presents from my grandparents, mainly red pocket. For them to give me something means a lot to me. Cool thing about these chopsticks is if it touches poisonous food, it will turn black. I've been given a chance to talk to my grandparents about their childhood, and it's really interesting to hear about my grandparent's past. Turns out my grandmother was a bit cheeky. I need to talk to my grandparents more, I'm really thankful for them. I pray that God will touch their lives in the near future.

*****

I've been feeling kinda odd - as I normally do. I feel like I've been neglecting my late-friend's sibling. Today I was able to play with both of them. I simply took them out to the park and played hockey with them. I'm surprised by just how much they appreciated it. They may not be my blood siblings, but I feel like I have two new ones. I need to care for them, they need more attention, and I hope I can give that to them. I hope I can be a good brother to them.

So I've realized that Satan can easily mess with you while you sleep.  He starts trying to get you to sin in your dreams.  And I must say that it's a pain in the butt.  It's sometimes rather hard to control the outcome of your dreams.  But this is where I learned a lesson.  It's when I am least in control that I have the greatest chance of victory over Satan in.  In my day to day life, I struggle too hard to be all that God commands me to be.  That is because I depend on my self far too much.  One cannot please God in the flesh, only in the spirit.  In reality, God calls me to trust COMPLETELY in His Spirit's work in me.  I don't need to do a thing except have faith in His power. 

In a dream where I have little control (to some extent), I have to trust God to do His work.  And He did, and does, and will protect me.  Now I have to learn trust that I need not do anything, for Christ has done everything, even when I am awake...

 so for those who don't know, I was sick for the past week.  My stomach was hurting like crazy for no reason at all.  I got my blood tested, urine test, ultrasound to check all my organs.... nothing...  It was painful enough to wake me up every night, most of the night.  And it was painful enough to keep me from eating much.  But a couple thoughts bounced around my head during the pain.

At first, I thought to myself, "God, how can you let me go through such pain."  But quickly, I remember that 99% of the time, I don't feel pain.  99% of the time I can eat, I can sleep.  It's just this 1% of the time that I feel like I'm in pain.  So would it be fair for me to say that God is horrible because He let's me have pain 1% of the time when 99% of the time He keeps me well? 

I feel that sometimes, we take the bad moments and dwell on them so much that we forget that most of the time, things go fairly well (you could say it's relative).  If God is faithful for 99% of the time, I'm sure I can take for granted that He is faithful through that other 1% too.  It's not like my pain really has too much to do with His faithfulness anyways, it just somehow seems that we often link our pain with God being unfaithful and horrible to us.  God has shown us His goodness 99% of the time, can we take by faith that He is good through that 1% as well?